You can succeed in your Rhode Island divorce by first recognizing this simple truth; everyone loses in divorce. The Rhode Island Family Court cannot provide you with more than what you had when you shared full access to your total marital estate. In short, the Rhode Island Family Court can’t give you more when you leave, than what you had when you entered.

Division means less.

Because of this absolute truth, you must be proactive and explore alternatives to a divorce trial if they are available. However, keep in mind the old saying about how great it would be if war was declared, and neither side showed up to fight it: they call that “peace” in my Rhode Island divorce.

There is also a name for when they declare a war and only one side shows up to fight: they call that a “massacre.”

In cases in which you are unable to persuade your spouse to agree to a mutually acceptable compromise, you have no alternative but to elect a trial. You must present your facts that warrant a ruling in your favor that is consistent with applicable law. You must resist the temptation to say or do anything about your soon to be ex-spouse (however tempting), that could make the Rhode Island Family Court Judge think less of your case.

You have some control of the outcome by controlling your own behavior during the course of your divorce. Present yourself to the Rhode Island Family Court as a reasonable and good person and parent, and it will make it easier for the Judge to assess your credibility, and listen to your facts.

To succeed you have to control yourself.

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